The Pipeline of Happiness

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Mr. Gérard Montpetit, from La Présentation, Quebec, has an original idea to solve the problem between BC and Alberta: after all the broken promises by Justin Trudeau about the Paris Agreement, we now have Alberta ready to boycott the wines from British Columbia in order to twist the arm of its neighbor to bring its oil from the oil  sands  to the Pacific Ocean. In order to help BC,  Mr. Montpetit  proposes the construction of a  special pipeline.

The Pipeline of Happiness

Like thousands of Québecois, I was against the Energy East pipeline despite the spin of the promoters that this project was as important to Canada as the railway in the 19th century. I cheered when the project was dropped in the fall of 2017. I was delighted with the defeat of the pro-oil Harper government. And I raised a glass when the new prime minister, Mr Justin Trudeau ratified the Paris Accord within the framework of a new international policy based on the theme  »Canada is back’‘!

But I was quickly disenchanted. Despite its glowing words about the reduction of greenhouse gases(GHG), the Trudeau government has maintained generous federal grants to the oil producers (1) It approved the construction of the Pacific Northwest LNG in September 2016, as well as the replacement of the Embridge line 3 and the extension of Kinder Morgan’s TransMountain pipeline(2). And our prime minister applauded Donald Trump’s approval of Keystone XL. According to the official public relations line, these projects are supposed to lead us to a post carbon economy! Could a chimpanzee interned in a psychiatric institution for schizophrenic primates kindly explain how these projects, which allow an exponential growth of the tar sands, can possibly reduce the amount of GHG generated in Canada???

Oh, I forgot! In March of 2017, Mr Trudeau was the star guest of the oil industry at the Cera Week energy conference (3). And one year later, The Guardian adds : “…Meetings conducted by senior government officials with TransCanada and the Canadian Association of Petroleum Producers (CAPP) reveal an one-sided approach more reminiscent of former Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s secret oil advocacy than Justin Trudeau’s green electoral promises… »(4) In other words, the right hand should ignore what the left hand is doing!

The Québecois are not the only ones to oppose the pipelines which are necessary for the expansion of oil sands. The mayor of Vancouver, Gregor Robertson, is as opposed to this type of project as is the ex mayor of Montreal, Denis Coderre. In the United States, First Nations and numerous other groups like Bold Nebraska, are still opposing Keystone XL. The ex premier of B.C., Christy Clarke, concluded that the Northern Gateway pipeline to Kitimat presented few economic advantages for her province which did not make the dangers of ecological disasters worthwhile. And now the NDP/Green Party coalition of Mr Horgan(5) wants to block TransMountain to the great displeasure of the Albertan NDP government of Rachel Notley.

Just like Harper, Trudeau is giving unwavering support for the Alberta tar sands; to that end, he promises that TransMountain will be constructed because  »the decision that we have made is in the national interest. »(7) Worse, in a dialogue during a B.C townhall meeting, he lost his cool and had a woman who opposed TransMountain thrown out (8). The quarrel between the two neighbouring provinces is now so venomous that Alberta is boycotting the wine from British Columbia in reprisal.

Wine wars! Now that is serious! I propose a means to reconcile everyone. As all these pipelines are built in the name of the national interest, I propose the construction of a pipeline from Vancouver to Halifax to transport B.C.’s wine through tar sands country. This pipeline could include technological advances. As Mr Trudeau insists that marijuana must be legally available to all Canadians on the 1st of July, this pipeline could also transport the other national treasure. Instead of dilbit (diluted bitumin), our beautiful pipeline will transport dilpot (diluted pot) with the B.C. wine. Unlike dilbit with its attendant pollution which makes people sick, this Pipeline of Happiness will insure a rosy future to all Canadians.

If it is in the national interest, I am prepared to sacrifice. I accept that the Pipeline of Happiness will be built in my backyard. Furthermore, for the well-being of the citizens of the Vancouver’s area, I pledge to drink a daily minimum of 10 bottles of this Okanagan wine together with a half dozen joints.(10). After all, it’s for a good cause.

 

HEY MAN! THE FIRST OF JULY …THAT’S COOL!

Gérard Montpetit

Member of comité des citoyens et citoyennes pour la protection de l’environnement maskoutain

February 15, 2018

1] http://www.ledevoir.com/societe/environnement/484802/les-subventions-canadiennes-aux-energies-fossiles-ont-atteint-3-3-milliards-en-2015 (16 nov. 2016)

2] http://www.ledevoir.com/societe/environnement/485890/ottawa-approuve-le-pipeline-de-kinder-morgan

3] http://www.ledevoir.com/societe/environnement/493104/justin-trudeau-invite-vedette-d-une-conference-qui-reunie-des-entreprises-des-energies-fossiles

4] https://www.theguardian.com/environment/true-north/2018/feb/09/trudeau-government-welcomed-oil-lobby-help-for-us-pipeline-push-documents

5] http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/fluxdudevoir/~3/BttSmG1Y6wU/la-colombie-britannique-impose-des-regles-pour-bloquer-le-pipeline-trans-mountain

6] https://thetyee.ca/News/2018/02/08/Trudeau-Fault-BC-Alberta-Trade-Tiff-Singh/?utm_source=national&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=080218

7] http://www.ledevoir.com/societe/environnement/519097/trudeau-promet-que-le-pipeline-trans-mountain-sera-construit

8] http://www.tvanouvelles.ca/2018/02/02/justin-trudeau-pique-au-vif-apres-avoir-ete-chahute

9] http://ici.radio-canada.ca/nouvelle/1082518/alberta-vin-colombie-britannique-transmountain-pipeline-energie-economie-okanagan9]

10] https://act.leadnow.ca/pinotnotpipelines/